Do you know the top five names for babies in 2012?
Girls Boys
1. Emma 1. Mason
2. Olivia 2. Liam
3. Sophia 3. Ethan
4. Ava 4. Noah
5. Isabella 5. Jacob
Wondering where Hannah is on the list? #18. Dan? #30. Molly, Robyn, and Will did not make the top 40. That was all part of our plan, but I’ll get to that later.
Our daughter Molly and son-in-law Tip are expecting their first child and our first grandchild this coming July. Like her parents, Molly doesn’t want to know the gender of their child. They aren’t telling anyone their leading choices, if they even have them four months before the birth.
Let me say, Hannah and I are offering no suggestions. It’s something the actual parents have got to do and get right since they’ll be the ones saying the name up to 50 times per day for the next 18 years. Of course, we’d like to support them in as non-obtrusive way as we can.
I totally get that they are keeping their thoughts to themselves. People can’t help but have a reaction to a possible name and that just makes the life on the Mom and Dad to-be more complicated than necessary. The challenge of naming kids has hit the mainstream media. George Costanza of the Seinfeld staked a claim to the name Seven for their future child in conversation with his fiancée Susan.
GEORGE: I got a great name for our kids. A real original. You wanna hear what it is? Huh, you ready?
SUSAN: Yeah.
George uses his finger to draw a number 7 in the air, accompanying the strokes of his digit with a two-tone whistle.
SUSAN: What is that? Sign language?
GEORGE: No, Seven.
SUSAN: Seven Costanza? You're serious?
GEORGE: Yeah. It's a beautiful name for a boy or a girl...
Susan scoffs.
GEORGE: ...especially a girl. Or a boy.
SUSAN: I don't think so.
GEORGE: What, you don't like the name?
SUSAN: It's not a name. It's a number.
GEORGE: I know. It's Mickey Mantle's number. So not only is it an all around beautiful name, it is also a living tribute.
SUSAN: It's awful. I hate it!
GEORGE: (angry) Well, that's the name!
SUSAN: (also angry) Oh no it is not! No child of mine is ever going to be named Seven!
When Hannah and I thought about names for our children, we wanted our kids to have distinctive names without being weird. Of course, I had taught eight years of school at that point so names of troublesome students were off limits. We also didn’t want our child to be Little This or Little That at family gatherings. We were in Arizona and our families in the East at that time so we had the run of the house as far as names were concerned.
At Nevitt Elementary in Phoenix, two of my favorite students were named Molly (Please, let’s put this to rest that teachers don’t have favorites. We do. Who doesn’t love a child who is enthusiastic, willing, and generally very happy? What we must do as teachers is be fair. That doesn’t mean treating them all the same, which is inherently unfair; we teachers need to give each student what she/he needs to succeed and not play favorites.). The name Molly fit our criteria of being distinctive without being out there. We then we felt girls needed a lyrical middle name. Hers is Melinda. Molly Melinda. It flows. Our second daughter Robyn has Leigh for a middle name. Robyn Leigh flows nicely, too. Beautiful names for beautiful daughters.
Boys’ names were always a challenge for us. We had so many lyrical girls’ names to choose from. But when we heard the right boy’s name, we knew it. Once, north on the coast of Maine, we heard a mother call to her son who happened to have quadruplet sisters. He was Will, not William. When it’s right, it’s right. So our son is a Will. Like the girls’ names, Will is still a personal favorite.
Using family names? I get that and support that if that’s their choice. It’s all Molly and Tip’s choice, and yet…
… could we help? I think so. Hear me out.
Perhaps their child will go to college. What if all Molly and Tip’s family and friends could participate in a 64-name March Madness-type bracket pool for $10 each?
Molly and Tip would create a March Madness bracket with all the possible and “no way” names for kids one month prior to the expected due date in late July. Molly and Tip would load in a 64 name bracket with their favorite boys’ names and girls’ names while throwing in a few curve balls. Like people do with college basketball March Madness bracket pools, family and friends would have names compete against each other until they arrived with a final name. Thanks to Molly and Tip the drama is heightened by the fact that the gender of the child is unknown.
Molly and Tip would ultimately pick the name while at the same time banking untold dollars for their child’s education. Whoever gets the name correct (or whoevers) gets to go to the kid’s college graduation with Molly and Tip. If my math is correct, if 10,000 people participate, $100,000 will be generated. Molly and Tip can then invest the money and pay for four years of tuition, room, and board at the Harvard of the West, Arizona State University.
Their alumni maternal grandparents will be so proud.
We'll let you know when the bracket is set and ready to go.
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